I was just about to suggest what CandiiMamii advised. I've never tried the texlax or texturizer, but I have been looking into it, because I know my hair will be crazy once it gets longer since it's very thick. I will probably have to do something like this.

girl.. i would advise you to try texlax or texturizer first.. its the best of both worlds in my opinion, you get to keep the texture but eliminate the frizz and napps... i loved it but i want to try out my natural hair for a while now =)

you know I just found your album from another person that had you on their list. I had to comment on this. I had the urge to go back to chems but everytime I think about it, I just do not have the strength to maintain that life anymore. I go to the gym just as much as you and my hair when permed was disgusting. LOL
I never really took care of it at all, I had it mostly in a pony tail all the time. I am not great with protective styles or twists, but I do what I can to make it work. I think it makes me feel better to have it this way in my life, but people have commented that I should do this, that and everything. I am like please leave me alone and move on.
It is a personal decision, personal so it is totally up to you I hope you make the right decision for yourself and good luck :-)

Longer hur takes more time. Your options if you want low maintenance nappy hur are: plan to do it in stages (lik redo sections at a time), cut it, or do new styles with larger sections of hair. Whatever you do, have fun with it.

I work out a little & luv braids 'cuz they rinse/wash well. I'm working on old world corporate styles for myself this year 'cuz I'm in mgt./admin. & don't have time for the hair politics either. My hur got more fragile at menopause, so I can't even consider chemicals or heat. So far - buns, chignon, french twist, tucked ponytails, & sum weddin updos work just as well on nappy as on straight. Good luck.

Girl, It's your decision but your hair is so beautiful. I am JEALOUS:) It's healthy and beautiful. I know how you feel.

After I big-chopped, I tried twists, braids and puffs for 18 months, but got really tired of them. I never felt 'cute' anymore! Wash-n-go's made my ends tangly and caused me to have to trim too often.

After looking at Sylver2's album, I thought I'd try no-manipulation braidouts. It was the BEST choice I had ever made (hair-wise)!!!

Braidouts give me a 'natural' look (and yes, I am natural), but they also show off my length more. I can wear my braidouts down, up, in a bun, in a puff or pony, or any other way. I also discovered that bantu knots can give a really nice-looking set. I plan to experiment with blowdrying and bantu knots, though I haven't used heat in a while and I try to avoid it at as much as possible.

I wash my hair twice a week now, and I only comb my hair twice a week, too. That might sound bad to some people, but it is really helping me to retain length! After washing and conditioning, I comb my hair in sections and then braid. There is no need to comb in order to style.

Hope that helps!

Your natural hair has been such an inspiration to me, and this is the first time I have viewed your album!!! The fullness and length is something I have been trying to achieve for my own hair for a while. Like everybody always say to me "do you" I have had times when I was in a funk with my hair as a natural and didn't know what to do. Then I just weighed my options, and realized that I would regret it. It's really hard working in the "corporate world" where people don't really understand that I can't wear my hair the same everyday, it will be a little kinky some times, they don't understand that, that is just me!!! When working out I have found that silk scarves really help with keeping my hair from frizzing up really bad. I wish you good luck with what ever you decide, I will not knock you either way : )

THIS SOUNDS LIKE ME! I have bc'd a gazilliion times because while I LUV my natural hair, I never have time to keep taking care of it like I used to. I work out 5-7 days a week and my twists only last a hot minute even though it took hours to put them in. Extensions and wigs r just not an option for me. I want the best of both worlds but when I flatiron it, it doesn't last long because of working out. So right now I'm in limbo just like u. I will definitely be checking back to see what you decide!

I certainly understand your challenge, now that I am a working mom I am really struggling with time management and the hair is taking a back burner. This year I have decided to wear twists/braids more often and I am even planning to do a weave--all protective hair styles for 2008. Maybe you can try that as you continue to contemplate on your decision. No matter what, you are not your hair, as India Irie said...

My comment is that hair is only hair. I just texlaxed my hair and I already have complaints and miss my natural hair but I don't regret it. Its something new and change from my norm. Eventually when I feel like it, I will transistion back to natural. However you wear your hair there are pros and cons. I will say though,texlaxed is the closest you can get to the best of both worlds. You have to decide what works for YOU and what YOU can deal with. Good luck with the decision and I am sure that whatever you do will be lovely cause you have gorgeous hair.

Hey Girly,

I know how you feel. It takes forever for me to comb my hair and do what's necessary for it to look good.. An option you may think about especially for workout reasons is Sisterlocks. You can wash from day one and work out as much as you want. They actually call it a natural hair management system, no chems, no combing.

You can check it out at: www.sisterlocks.com.

Also Lioness (Canada) has gorgeous Sisterlocks:

http://members.fotki.com/lionness/about/

Also Lovely miss Yoli has a process that she used on her hair for ease. She has the steps and everything on her fotki. It looks amazing:

http://members.fotki.com/daydreaminyoli/about/


You are going to look great no matter what you do to your hair ;^)

xo
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Thanks ma-
I will check out your suggested links... the only thing with sister locks is it's irreversible (I think) not a lot of options for different styles... but I'll look into.

Thanks-
Shanda

Hey Shanda,

If you go with the texlax option, I highly suggest that you do it yourself. For some reason, stylists have a problem with under processing a relaxer on purpose! In most cases I know of where people went to a stylist, they ended up getting bone straight hair!:(

You can do this yourself, or get a relative/friend to help you out. It isn't that hard, the key is not leaving the relaxer on for a long time. You don't need to smooth it with a comb, or pull it through your hair. Just put some vaseline around your hairline (and even on your scalp if you are nervous about it burning), and slap that relaxer cream on your hair (Don't Apply It To The Scalp). Set a timer to help you keep it under 10-15 minutes. AND if you are worried about your hair coming out too straight, for insurance---you can add olive oil (or any kind of oil) to the relaxer cream (if you use no lye, do this after you mix it). This slows down the relaxing process, and gives you more time for application. Check out www.longhaircareforum.com for tips and reviews about self-relaxing/texlaxing and products. I just don't want you to end up disappointed if someone else does it and screws up your hair ;P. If you can't trust yourself, then who can you trust? If you have any more questions, just holla....
~TiJa~

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Hey TiJa,

Thanks so much for the constant encouragement and advice. I did stop by to see your texlaxer but you didn't have that many photos =-(

I am pretty sure I want to do something not sure what yet... the under relaxing... I don't know I am a little worried but will check out the LHCF like you suggested. I am thinking about the Just 4 Me hair softener b/c it's supposely much milder than a relaxer... like a milder texturizer. So I am not sure weigh my options. Good call on not having a professional do my texlaxer... but if I decided to get a relaxer I wouldn't dar attempt that on my own... way to much hair now ;-)

Once again thanks for the advice.... I'll be checking on you to see if you put up more pics.

*hint, Hint, hint

=-P

Shanda, your hair, your choice. It is not a shame, sin or crime to perm your hair. It is a personal decision based on your needs and what works for you.
I love your natural hair, it is beautiful. If you straighten and decide that it no longer works for you then you can BC again.
Best wishes with the decision. Remember you have to make you happy.

I understand your pain it takes so long to do, because i work out a lot too and it doesnt last, what I do is, just braid my hair in like 6 braids for the week and wear cute hats or wrap a scarf that matches my outfit and wear it for a week and it helps out a lot. Also when I wash my hair I use coconut milk and lime juice keep it in overnight or for a couple of hours before you wash and after I finish washing I use the green magnetic rollers on my hair until it drys take it out and it last a week even when i work out and it only takes like 20 minutes to do towards the end of the week your curls will be bigger and much fuller and your curl becomes much looser with the coconut milk, you should try that and also henna helps loosen the curl.
and also happiness only comes from within, not from what others say or belevie, your boss or who ever, its your culture and embrace it, just like she is embracing her white culture

I TOO UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN. IF YOU MUST APPLY A CHEMICAL, WHY NOT TRY A MILD REGULAR LYE RELAXER. DO NOT LEAVE IT IN TOO LONG ( ONLY 10 MINUTES TOPS) TEXULAX YOUR HAIR EVERY 3-4 MONTHS. I USED TO USE THIS METHOD AND IT PROVED TO BE EASIER TO MANAGE. JUST MAKE SURE THAT YOUR STYLIST UNDERSTAND THAT YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR HAIR RELAXED TOO STRAIGHT. I WISH YOU THE BEST IN YOUR DECISION MAKING.

Because I am a frequent stalker of your oh-so-fab album, I am back for a quick comment. If you read over my first post again, I DO understand and empathize greatly with your frustration. I have natural hair myself and it feels like a battle sometimes dealing with it. Your story about wearing your puff at work and the negative reaction that it received saddened me. It obviously affected you, too, but I hope it was not the primary reason why you are considering relaxing your hair...your co-workers don't deserve that kind of power. I hope that you find something that works for you, be it straight, nappy, or somewhere in between.
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Hey Brown,
My co-works negative reaction is in no way on my mnd as far as this choice. It just makes me not want to wear my hair "out" at work. More than anything it's the time especially considering it eat's into my workout. I mean if I had a choice between long beautiful natural hair and pudgy out portion body or rockin' hard abs and body and bald I would chose option to everytime. =-P

Checking out my options gonna look into just for me hair softner... know any adults that used it?

I think you are beautiful and that beams from within you need to consider yourself whatever you decide make sure it is solely based on how you feel about you. If it will make you happy and doesn't harm anyone else in the process go for it.

I do agree with you when you say that we still live in a world that judges us by our hair. If you feel more comfortable with perming your hair due to your work environment then I say go for it girl. You only live once and you have to be happy with the choices that you make. No more stressing ok?

I want to start off by saying your hair is absolutely lovely and it fits you beautifully. Also congrats on the weight loss, I can truly understand that having lost about 75 pounds myself!

I can say I agree with most people here. I want you to be happy, as I can't say keeping your hair natural could be easy......You are the one who has to get up and do it everyday! It is a hard decision, but I noticed that you went natural to see what your natural hair state would look like. In that case I would say reflect on the work you put into your permed hair and compare it to now that it is natural. Only you can answer what joys and struggles you have endured with your hair in both states. I know you will make the right decision.

I also share your frustration with the working out and sweating. I work out 5-7 days per week and lets not speak on how much I truly sweat in my head. However, I am going to do cycles. Cycles of braids and cycles of wearing my hair out. That way I have no chance to grow truly annoyed with either! I believe that this may work for a while. Also, the fuzz factor: believe it or not, I get more compliments on my hair when it gets old and fuzzy!

Whatever your decision, just make sure you think it through. YOU know YOU best, and you then know what's best for YOU, no matter what anyone has to say!

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I love your hair, I wish I could wear creative styles like at, but wouldn't dream of it in my work enviroment. My boss is pretty traditionally conservative and white... she (along with many others) associate natural with criminals. I wore a puff once and the reaction was so negative from staff and way to positive from inmates I never did it again.

So, I thank you for your advice. Nice to have people not pressure me. AS you and others said, at the end of the day I have to be happy, no matter how many fellow napsters I may disappointt =-(

thanks again

Well. I'm experienced in "going back" on my decision. I bc'ed twice before and relaxed for convenience. I regret it sooo much. I'd be so far ahead now instead of be starting over. Hair however isn't the biggest deal in the world. Fact is, hair grows back.

What I think you need to do is a little self-reflection perhaps. Why did you go natural in the first place? Will you be happy with a perm? If it's just convenience, maybe you can use the money for a relaxer and go to a natural stylist once in a while instead. Sometimes we think going to relax monthly is cheaper when it's not. You COULD just go monthly to get your natural hair twisted, plaited or cornrowed.
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I went natural just to see what it would be like. Not on some political deep stuff (not that there is nothing wrong with it). I think I would be happier with more manageable hair.... not straight. The goal or the lure isn't "oh, I want silky bone straight hair". It is I want to take anhour or less to do my hair. I need a style that I can rinse fairly often (due to excerise). I would love the option to wear straighter and it last more than 1/2 day. As far as saving the money for the relaxer to get it done... hadn't thought about it. I haven't paid someone to do my hair on a regular basis since 18 years old! So, getting a relaxer would be a tax on the pockets as I currently do everything on my head, so that is something to consider...$
I wouldn't get a relaxer every month though, prior I was 7-8 weeks. If did it again I would try to hold out to at least 10 maybe 12.
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I'm kinda struggling with your problem as well. I feel like relaxing but I know I won't because I know how it feels to regret it. I don't have money to get braids every 3 months but I might have to give up something for the braids for a while just because school i starting and I'm going to be busy. Plus my hair grows like weed when it' braided ;-) Good luck with your decision.

Personally I ADORE your natural hair. I hope you keep it natural.
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Thanks so much I am glad othersfind it inspiring.
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The maxiglide - is VERY convenient too. It's a good flat iron. It's not as expensive as braids. You literally CAN'T burn your scalp and it lasts a while on my hair. You could try that first for a break between styling... if you're still dissatisfied you can straighten it and i'm sure your hair will still be beautiful.
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I do love the maxi, but my nappy hair doesn't like to stay straight for long =-)