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FRW 08-07-19

Match comments by Tauron Nox
This is his disclaimer:
*The results & opinions contained in this post do not necessarily represent the views of FRW, The NH State Athletic Commission, The Island of Zanzibar, Dr. Phil, The Allen Parson Project, The Rochester Pee Wee Football Team, or any wrestling fan with taste.

 
01 Alternate Endurance "Not Quite a Royal Rumble" Battle Royal

Rules are simple here. 2 men start, a new one enters every 90 seconds. There are 6 entrants total. Eliminations happen by pinfall, submission, or getting tossed over the top rop.
Dan Thunders & "Duke of Elegance" Don Chesterfield start things off.
Scott Reed enters.
"Tough Talk" Tony "I GIVE MEN LAP DANCES" Spencer enters
DJ Baron enters
Sledge aka "I EAT BABIES FOR BREAKFAST" enters
So yeah, no eliminations until everyone entered.
According to Jen (who was not dying from laughter because of Dave Padula), the order of elimiation was
DJ Baron pinned by Duke with an elegant pull of the tights. Tony Spencer was ejected over th top rope like a rag doll. Scotty Reed tapped to DUKE! Duke got punked out and was thrown over the top rope by Sledge.
This leaves Sledge & Thunders. No challenge here, as Sledge makes Thunders feel his pain & gets the win via a quick pin with the help of his hideous face paint & moral support from eveyone's BFF, Master Flesh.
With Duke out, I had 30% less interest in the rest of the event.

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02 Ultimate Endurance: First Round Match #1

Dr. Reginald Heresy defeats "Struttin, Svelt, & Stylin" Sonny Goodspeed w/ DJ Baron

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03 First Round Match #2

Tarzan "High Waters" Taylor w/ Jane Romero defeats Granite State Champion "Heart Attack" Tommy Mack.

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04 First Round Match # 3 - Vampire Sethoran w/ Vanity Vixxxen v Sledge w/ Maverick Wild

Sledge high fived Mav so hard, his hand landed in the second row. Not even an hour into the show, & we have our first casualty. I say first, because there are more to come. Match was tight as hell, which was to be expected. Sledge is a big effing dude. Sethoran is awesome, but not so big. Seth hit a Glimmering Warlock, which was sooooo awesome. Seth gets the win with the rarely seen Large Package. There is nothing small about Sledge. That we know of, anyway. After the match, Mav & Sledge beat on Seth and ram him shoulder first into the ring post. OUCH!!

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05 First Round Match # 4- Panther Martin defeats Alex "Feta Cheese is Italian" Arion.
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06 Intermission and misc fan shots

Intermission featured a performance by Spinal Tap, er , I mean Sustainer.
Apparently their drummer blew up before the show, and their bassist got stuck in a pod at the previous show, so we had crazy dueling guitars. Mariott turned it up to 11.
Best intermission ever.

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07 Tough Talk with Tony "Adult Under Garments" Spencer

Since the Drunken Master of the Dover Legends (Buddy to all Paparazzi!) was not in attendance, Tony decided to interview Steve “Vai” Marriott instead. Tony explained to the crowd that he has been taking courses at the Joseph Eastman Technical Institute and learned that his failings as a wrestler were out fault & not his. There is no way that this school is accredited. 4SRS. Tony tried to belittle Marriott in several ways, only to have Marriott prove him wrong on every point. Tony needs to find a new school. FRW Security Guy then grabbed Marriott from behind (no wonder Drunken Master gets away with so much. He’s a heel!) while Tony then went for a head shot with an acoustic guitar. Of course, Marriott saw this coming a mile away. He is a guitar hero, after all. FRW Security Guy took the shot to the head in the end. Tony throws a temper tantrum and drags FRW Security Guy to the back. Marriott gets a round of applause.

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08 Mixed Tag Action

Master "Even the Living Dead Can Get a Tan" Flesh, Maverick Wild, & the debuting "Synful" Sarah Blackheart/Blackmore/Blacksomething w/ Sledge defeat Justin Shaype, Tony "I got knocked the fuck out" Star, and Vanity "Funbags" Vixxxen.

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09 Ultimate Endurance II, Secret of the Ooze.

Ultimate Endurance starts with Panther “My Favorite” Martin w/ his new life coach Tony Spencer & Tarzan w/ Jane. These two kill each other, and Martin gets the pin.
Enter the Vampire!
Panther works over the shoulder that got jacked up by Sledge & Mav, only to have Seth get the pin. Panther needs to find a new life coach.
The final entrant is Dr. Reginald Heresy, OOOOH YEAAAH!
Superstar ML said that he wanted to see a claw hold, because nobody escapes the claw. That is so full of win.
Doc gets the quick upper hand by teasing heart punches but instead attacking Seth’s injured arm while he had him in the corner. I wish they were heart punches. They rule.
While in the corner, the ref tries to separate them, but gets the dreaded ref bump! Doc, ever opportunist, goes to the sound table & grabs the bell.
He winds up like Big Pappi, but decides that he can beat Seth without using the bell. He was very wrong, and gets pinned..
Your 2008 Ultimate Endurer, and #1 contender to the All Star Championship, is Vampire Sethoran!
After the match, Doc manned up and shook Seth’s hand & raised it in victory. What a guy!

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10 All Star Championship Submission Extravaganza

All Star Champion Shane Sharpe gets the upset submission victory over “Bad Karma” Christian Angers in an awesome match.

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