Old Git
For instance, they'll be quick (well relatively) to tell you that the excellence can't be rushed, especially when it comes to producing a superb wine. They'll also tell you grapes from old vines give greater concentration of flavour and that traditional methods are best.
But, let's be honest, when was the last time you took any notice of what they had to say?
Which is a shame, at this time, they actually know what they're talking about.
BE BOLD. GO FOR THE OLD!

Old Tart
For instance, they'll tell you that drinking white wine (as opposed to snowballs) adds an air of distinction for those searching for a better class of partner. Whilst waiting to be swept off their stilettos (in a zippy little sports car) by a rich Mr Right, they continue daintily sipping. Obviously they'll enjoy something with a 'voluptuous body' that is 'fresh, fruity and up-front,' in fact, a wine not unlike themselves.

BE SMART. ENJOY THE TART!