who doesn't feel like this at least some of the time? you have the courage to express it, own up to whatever you're feeling, and that's a great thing. i'm sure you're a fun and interesting person to know, and i'm also sure that you're probably a lot harder on yourself than other people appear to be. something obviously frustrates you and perhaps it's time for a change. no amount of self-talk or positive thinking is going to help in a "toxic" environment, even if it's an apparently ok environment. we all need our space, the right space, to live well and feel well. sorry for the long message :-)

I've come to know you through the scrapbooking group and believe me, you are NOT scum. Sometimes we have hard times believing in ourselves, but that usually goes away in time. After we've climbed out of the pit, the skies are prettier and landscape is beautiful again. I hope you are feeling better now.
Ruth